Pizza Hut (Lot 1)

Dear Pizza Hut,

I have not been having pizza at your outlets nor ordered delivery for a very long time. One reason that I have stopped eating at Pizza Hut is that the cheese-in-crust creations just comes across as a rip off.

Every time I walk by your restaurant, I see patrons with those cheese-in-crust abominations. I would always notice a circular race track wide enough for F1. That race track incidentally takes up half the surface area of the pizza, meaning the remaining half is occupied by toppings.

Referencing good pizzas from other pizza places, the average ratio of edge crust area to toppings area should be something like 1:12 or better. However, Pizza Hut pizzas have an atrocious ratio of 1:1 for your stuffed-crust abominations and 1:3 for your regular crust-without-stuffing pizzas.

Also referencing the same good pizzas from other pizza places, the average density of toppings per square inch, excluding cheese and tomato sauce is 4, compared to Pizza Hut's 0.8, with cheese and tomato sauce. This kind of standard is absolutely unacceptable.

Lastly, the price of your pizza is extremely unacceptable by global standards. You may argue that comparison should not be made at a grober level. But hey, that's how the the government likes to compare Singapore to the rest of the world. Back to the pricing. Pizzas in our western counterparts are sold at half the price and taste twice as good because there is double the toppings.

As a consumer, I am concerned that the future generations will never get to taste truly good pizzas because of the sub-standard food Pizza Hut makes. As such, I urge Pizza Hut to:

1. stop thinking about those stuffed-crust rip-offs 2. stop cutting costs on toppings 3. start slashing prices for their pizzas to be competitive groberly

Thank you for reading. I hope the management will seriously reconsider their strategies for Pizza Hut while finding humour in this letter.

For those who still don't get it: The numbers and statistics are a joke, but the lack of quality is real. This is how my mockery letter to Pizza Hut might look like, if I ever send it.